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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Time passes by.....

It's been 3 weeks since the fateful day. I won't deny the pain I am still feeling. Everything reminds me of my baby...pregnant ladies, ladies who had just given birth, the baby stuff I had at home, books etc.

I complied my baby scans photos into a folder...I don't know what I am looking for.

Am I hoping for some closure into this? Sometimes I find myself asking what I could have done to prevent any of this from happening....my gynae, hubby and friends assured me that it's not my fault and I should not blame myself.

Now, I don't even feel like going back to my usual hairdresser or facial or anywhere else for that matters where I had been to when I was pregnant. People will ask....I will have to reply.....again and again....over and over again.

Sometimes I find myself stroking my tummy as if the baby is still there and sometimes I can even feel her kicking....

I know it's not going to be easy and I know all my friends are there to support and comfort me when I need but I guess this is something I had to overcome myself.

I had to go through this grieving process.....a painful process....